Please Accept this Handbasket with Our Compliments

Yup, we’re going to Hell. And not because we previously posted something about an adult-themed ARG, because that was totally sweet. No, our final destination was selected due to our recent association with an organization called Humans for the Ethical Treatment of Fairies, Elves, and Trolls (HETFET). False idols, all of them!

Said our tipster, Shera Vellots, which anagrams to “The Last Solver” (also “Svelte Harlots”):

I’m willing to say very little,
To protect mankind from pact acquittal,
Pry as you may,
Each day as we play,
Sharing info I’m quite noncommittal.

Yeah, like that makes sense. Anyway, apparently some unusually clean hippies mounted a protest in NYC this past weekend to raise awareness about cruelty to the tooth fairy or something and the Svelte Harlot helpfully uploaded some photos of the event to Flickr.

According to this press release, the NYPD felt the protest was non-fiction but we’re not exactly sure if we buy the police officer’s quote. The release also cites another “controversy.”

Rumors spread that the gathering was nothing more than a publicity stunt cooked up to advertise the upcoming Hellboy movie sequel. When asked about the rumor, protesters vehemently denied the allegations. “We are certainly not tied to any motion picture. That is absurd!”

So clearly this has nothing to do with Hellboy 2. Damn, there goes our golden shower joke.

Hey, wait, where’d you find that second press release? Why, those lying sons of bitches! And now our joke is already ruined. When our humor is defeated, we go like this. ;-( When there’s an axe in our head, we go like this. k:-O

So yeah, Unfiction is already hella all over this; check out the discussion thread here. And if you can figure out how to get one of those T-shirts, drop me a line. We wear size small (American) or medium for the rest of the normal-sized world. Hella hella.

P.S. Ron Perlman is the shit. <3