Charlotte’s Fly Parlor

The latest package to arrive at the Despoiler campus definitely wins a prize for the most enigmatic. In fact, if we hadn’t already been aware of an ongoing discussion at Unfiction about this new campaign, we would have had exactly zero ideas how to title this post. Parodoxically, no title at all might have represented less fail than was realized here just now.

Hmm, a dictation recorder with a sticky note taped to it reading, “Play me.” Pause for a moment to ponder the double-meaning. And seeing as how the device came stocked with working batteries, what did we have to lose?

The tape itself is marked (in what appears to be a distinctly European hand) “1/1.” Other packages received by ARG community members have been inscribed with “1/2” and “2/1,” although an argument raged for a time about whether or not the one was in fact a letter A or V, or maybe the two was a Z. Arguing is fun!

Near as we can tell, the woman – a novelist or former novelist – suffers what they technically term in the medical community as “Crazytown,” and a handful of antipsychotic meds she rattled off in the interview just “made things worse.” If it weren’t for her accent, we could swear we dated this woman at one point.

Speculation has it that this may be related to the book Therapy, written by Sebastian Fitzek and published by St. Martins Press. Where do we go from here? You know, baby, we’ve been trying to find out but we’re still some way from knowing. Transcript of the audiotape after the jump.

Man: May I offer you some tea?

Woman: Oh, thank you, no. My five minutes would be over before I got around to got around to drinking it.

M: As you wish. So… tell me about yourself.

W: I’m a novelist.

M: Famous.

W: Not unless you’re interested in children’s books. Most of my readers are age six to thirteen. I sell a lot of copies overseas. Japan was my best market but it’s all in the past.

M: In the past?

W: I… haven’t finished a book for years.

M: So when was your last book published?

W: That was five years ago. After that, I started another project, a children’s book of course, I thought it was going to be my best yet. It almost seemed to write itself but I never got further than the first couple of chapters.

M: Why was that?

W: Health problems. It happened very suddenly. I was hospitalized.

M: What was wrong with you?

W: To be frank, I don’t think anyone really knows.

M: How long were you in the hospital?

W: Forty-seven months in all. I was locked in a room and topped up with pills for nearly four years. I barely knew who I was, let alone what was going on.

M: And the… diagnosis?

W: Haven’t you been able to make a guess by now?

M: What medication were you on?

W: Pretty much everything. Truxil and Fluspirilene but mainly Flupenthixol.

M: And… none of them helped?

W: The symptoms got worse. Even after I stopped taking the medication, it took weeks to find my feet. In my opinion, that’s proof enough that drugs aren’t the solution to my particular condition.

M: What’s different about your condition?

W: I’m a novelist.

M: So you said.

W: It’s probably best if I give you an example.

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